Examples of handling those toddler tantrums, parental guidance and suggestions.
Time Out
Using time out has been quite a debatable subject when looking at ways to discipline. I personally believe that if used effectively it is a beneficial way for children to realise that there are
consequences to behaviour that is not appropriate. Having a non physical disiplin is surely a better way to achieve this. As a mental point of view. I have heard many suggest that it is not appropriate to make a child 'feel worse' for their behaviour. I will not applogise for saying to these people their crazy. To have a child been smacked fair on the back of the head deliberately by another, well I show sympathy for the hurt child. Which outways the fact the child who hit will feel a bit sad for sitting out for three minutes to 'Think' about why I am not happy, why the child is not happy and what they did.
Look at society today. If you did it at school you would get detention, If you did that in a work place, you would get fired! If you did it in a pub, club, restaurant you would get kicked out, possibly arrested. Then see what time out you could get!! So....I am happy to debate if need be on the right and wrongs of it.
So lets look at how I believe 'Time Out' Should be handled.
1/ Do not over use it.
2/Decide what is going to be the reasoning's/events for a child needing to be there. My time outs are based on physically injury to others and repeated defiance of warnings. (3 then goneskies!)
3/Decide how long they will be there and stick with it. NOT one time 3minutes the next 30seconds. I go by the minute per age. To be honest, I am not sure why I do but it does seem to come down to expectations of their age.
4/Get a timer!! Teach the children when the alarm goes off, it's time they can get up and come and see you. OR you go to them. This can also help to avoid continual "Wha When can I get up".
5/Stick to the same spot in the same room. Have the spot where you can see the child, they can see you. If you are in the kitchen, then have a spot in the area closest just outside the kitchen. Continue what you are doing. DO NOT SEND THEM TO THEIR ROOM!! Such a pet hate of mine!
6/ Short quick words when directing to time out. Avoid arguing back and forwards, refusal, the getting sucked into "I'll be good" comments. Especially do not talk to them once they are there or hold them down. Move away and continue what you are needing to do.Remember you have made your decision! Talk about being "Good" (children' words not mine) comes after.
7/ STICK TO YOU GUNS again. You have set your timer, following through with time out. This is where most parents get sucked into googly child eyes, tears to suck you in, guilt. You are the parent!! so breath and harden up!! They WILL still LOVE you!!
8/ They get up before their timer. Yes... Go get them and put them back. Hey, all children are different right?! some will take longer then others. It will also take longer if you break your harden up attitude and give in at any stage.
9/They have stayed there, now it is time for discussion.
10/ Rewards for good behaviour. I may talk about this in a different heading.
GOOD LUCK.
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Dummies
All my children had a dummy when they were babies. Some liked them and had them for longer then the other but there came a time where they were not little babies anymore. Once this point is reached I believe they need to head to the bin. I feel the longer parents leave it the harder it is for the parents to give up the dummy. Yes I did mean the parent!
Which topic will I start first???
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